PHEW ITS GETTING BRIGHTER!
Apr 12, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ONvsmPA2-c

[Music]
hey you guys welcome to my channel for
all of my new subscribers welcome
welcome welcome I am so sorry that you
guys have not seen much of me I've kind
of changed up my schedule a little bit
with my daily posts for right now I have
decided to kind of change things up a
little bit but on the days that I don't
vlog I definitely will be giving daily
readings no matter what and it just
gives me a little bit of breathing time
you know and I really enjoy that so
welcome again to all of my new
subscribers thank you so much for
subscribing and supporting me and my
journey I appreciate it so so so very
much support encouragement and
everything in between is so needed on a
life journey and I appreciate everybody
rallying around me today today but every
day and helping me on those days where
you know life could be a little bit
calmer for me but you know what it's all
good it's all good I am so sorry I'm
trying to eliminate that glare in my
face but at the same time I need it a
little bit because my room is just like
shooting darts anyways so I hope it
doesn't bother you that you might see a
little bit of my reflection or the ring
light reflection oh I see yeah we'll
turn this down a little bit I mean I
guess it doesn't make a difference
whether you're gonna see the reflection
or not yeah I guess it doesn't make it
get all the way down
anyways so let's see a little bit of
update what has been going on so as most
of you that are people that have been
subscribed to my channel my longtime
followers and even a few of my new
followers that have went through and
they texted me and said I'm binge
watching your videos I'm trying to catch
up to where you are obviously they
probably know as well that I have a
procedure coming up on Monday I was
really hesitant on if I wanted to follow
through with it I was recently diagnosed
with endometriosis and if you don't know
much about it it would be something that
you probably can either google or look
up online it's kind of intense to have
to explain everything but it basically
it's all to do with women productive
system and there's really no there is no
cure for it they can go in and you know
rid it but it 99 percent well 95 percent
comes back and a lot of times it comes
back with a vengeance so with that I
chose not to go that route um I decided
to go ahead and after a while of really
thinking about it and considering my
options and everything else and talking
with my husband we have decided the best
option will be to go through the
procedure which is to get the Mirena put
in if you don't know what the Mirena is
it's a birth control but they use birth
control
tick typically to manage an
endometriosis and it helps with the pain
and everything else that comes along
with endometriosis so I have that
procedure coming up on Monday I am so
nervous so please keep me in your
thoughts prayers with good behaves
anything and everything I need it all
because I am I am nervous and so I will
definitely keep you guys updated I'm
gonna try and maybe I'm not gonna
I don't want to commit a hundred percent
that I'm in a vlog much on Monday
I can't obviously vlog the procedure
because it's a medical procedure and my
doctor doesn't feel comfortable plus
it's kind of you know woman exposing
areas that YouTube will probably ban me
so on that note I don't think there is
anybody that really wants to see this
procedure happen but I will keep you
guys updated and let you guys know
before my procedure after my procedure
and everything in between so another
thing is thank you so much everybody for
all well not everybody
thank you for a few people that gave me
a great laugh to yesterday and today me
and oli
I've been belly rolling laughing my
stomach hurts from laughing so hard for
some of these beautiful comments that
are being said since I posted my
shopping haul from Costco let me let me
tell ya okay I know there's a lot of
people that watched my haul and was like
holy cow Amy that is all processed food
that is there's nothing healthy in that
whole haul you know feeding your kids
that is not gonna be okay you know and
things like that I appreciate
everybody's opinion I appreciate
everybody has different techniques that
they use or that they suggested I
appreciate all of it however I do want
to state that no you did not see any
fruits and vegetables in that haul
because we do not buy our fruits and
vegetables from Costco
we personally don't like buying our
fruits and vegetables from Costco
because 9 out of 10 when we buy our
Costco fruits and vegetables they go bad
within like a day and so if we buy a
quantity of fruits and vegetables
they're obviously not going to substan
themselves for the entire month that we
need it to last so what we do is we do
usually every couple of days to maybe a
week depending on what it is that we're
meeting we go to our local vegetable and
fruit stand and we buy all of our stuff
they're fresh so that is why you guys
did not see fruits and vegetables being
implemented into that shopping hall
second of all I just wanted to put out
there too that Jeremiah is 11 years old
he is very capable of getting up and
making his self as little breakfast
there are many many mornings that I am
up and I do prepare lunches our lunches
breakfasts ha's and things like that but
usually he likes to do his own thing and
that's totally respected of me you know
I still help him get everything else
together and even wait
when I say getting everything else
together we do the nightly routine the
night before school lay out his clothes
and showers and all of that stuff but
you know he's getting older he's wanting
a little bit more in dependency and I'm
respecting that and along with in
dependency is also respecting that he
also has the right to choose what he
wants to eat as well yes I am his mother
and yes I will continue to you know have
him be able to have options of healthy
foods and of course he does eat healthy
foods but at times if he wants to have a
frozen pizza I'm not gonna sit there and
tell him no and if he wants pancakes for
breakfast I am NOT gonna be a person to
tell my child no so I respect
everybody's suggestions and opinions and
things but I also just wanted to come on
in and explain that as well and if you
go back into some of my videos you'll
see the type of meals that we usually
eat so they're not all processed mills
it is nice though and I'm pretty sure
99% of the comments that I received I
could probably walk into each of those
everybody's homes and I can find
processed food so it's just that I put
mine out there and that's alright
so anyways enough with that um but we do
have our reading we're going to read
today yeah we're back with our book so
we will get to our book
I think we'll get to our book first and
then I have a huge haul of Amazon stuff
I was sent some stuff from my mother for
the family as gifts especially because
it's oli in Mayas birthday this today's
so what both my husband and my son
celebrate the same birthday which is
nice but so she sent some gifts for the
kids in for oli and I think she put
something in there for me too I'm like
mom you don't have to and then there's a
few things in here that I think I
purchased as well that came all at the
same time so it looks like my bed is
full of lots and lots of goodies and so
I'm gonna get into all of that and show
you guys I am NOT going to be putting up
a video of the kids opening their gifts
that's why I'm doing it early so that I
can show you guys what they got because
I am NOT putting my children up on the
videos anymore so I definitely want to
show you guys what I have that they
received but I won't be posting them
opening the gifts but it's alright you
know what it's okay let's get to it our
book I feel like it's been a lifetime
that we have read our book so I'm gonna
read I'm gonna read the the last reading
we did and then we'll go over to the
next one just so we kind of have a
little refresh of the last reading we
had which we it was March 4th was the
last day that we well you know how we
are we're behind but you are fully
equipped to handle the week ahead as
long as you take it one day at a time
you are capable so true and I definitely
read that over and over and over and
over again because I really needed to
hear those words quite a few times so
today's reading is on March 5th it says
take a good look at the wounds on your
heart the ones that have never fully
healed that you've denied or simply
covered up with bandages
sometimes self-care looks like ripping
those bandages off and allowing yourself
to heal properly Wow let's read that
again take a
look at the wounds on your heart the
ones that have never fully healed the
that you've denied or simply covered up
with bandages
sometimes self-care looks like ripping
those bandages off and allowing yourself
to heal properly
wow that reading is oh my gosh I can
relate to that reading so much within
this last couple of weeks that I've been
really battling with my depression and
trying to find my feet on ground and I
feel like I'm starting to come out of it
I'm starting to feel like I'm snapping
back to my normal person that I am
it's taken me about two weeks I think
this is probably one of the hardest hit
ones that I did but again like I was
explaining previous the doctor is
switching me over on all my pills so I
think my body's a little bit out of like
whoa so respecting my body and what it's
telling me also is helping that you know
I need to do what Amy feels the best
thing for Amy and and I think that
that's part of doing self-care is
respecting myself and working on the
wounds that are coming up from the
depression and dealing with those at
hand and maybe it's not something I want
to express on on-camera or maybe it's
just things that you know really can't
be talked about right now but still
going through those emotions sometimes
it's very hard sometimes it's hard to
lift your head above the off the pillow
and say okay I'm gonna meet today
because sometimes even those thoughts
are too much and you just want to hide
away and I did a lot of that this last
two weeks but I am finally feeling like
I'm coming out of that cloud I feel like
the Sun starting to shine back on me
again I feel like I'm getting my feet
back on the ground I'm still a little
bit wobbly but you know I'm feeling like
I'm getting back to my my real Amy my
real person that I know I am and so it's
a great feeling to be able to embrace
myself again and not feel like I
like lost trying to find myself in the
dark because that's exactly how I felt
and you know I'm starting to see that
light at the end of the tunnel like okay
I'm getting there I'm getting there I
just need to keep pushing forward and
this is gonna happen we're gonna get
back to where we were and we can
continue to press forward because it's
just that much more better for me and
easier to sustain life when you don't
have such a heavy burden on your
shoulders and so again I think you guys
so so much for all of the support and
all of the words that you guys have been
sending it has been so overwhelming of
just warmth reading everybody's messages
and I've been harding everybody's
messages so you guys know I am reading
them I haven't been able to get back to
everybody but again because it's taking
a lot for me to just be able to process
everything but I want to let everybody
know that I see your guys's comments I'm
reading every one of them and you guys
are all so amazing and I could not be
more grateful to have such amazing
friends and YouTube supporters out there
and the negative out totally under ways
the most positive that I am getting so
please do not feel afraid that the
negative comments are interfering with
me at all because you know what it's
just not going to happen I am NOT gonna
give anybody the right to control my
emotions my feelings my life the only
thing that has seriously changed within
me and going forward is one I'm not
committing to uploading right now I just
need to when I when I want to talk and
when I want to get up and share and I
want to be able to to film I'm gonna
jump in and do it and also my children
are off film 100% so it doesn't mean you
won't hear them in the background but
they're no longer going to be viewed on
camera so but with that you you guys are
amazing and I thank you so much I just I
I've seen my numbers going up and it
makes me feel so good to see my channel
grow
and you know being able to say hey I
know that I'm doing right and I know
what I'm doing is right and I know
respecting myself is just helping myself
get back to my normal me so that I can
have this abundant blessing from you
guys to my family to myself to everybody
around me that I can just keep pouring
myself out because I'm finally starting
to fill myself up so let's get two
packages really quick I'm so excited
Jeremiah just came home so I want to get
out there and sing him a happy birthday
because I I waited because I wanted to
sing him happy birthday to to him but
with the kids and the babies were
sleeping this morning when he left for
school so
okay so this one is okay this one is for
Jeremiah and this is from my mom which
if you guys don't know who my mom is her
name is cat lady on YouTube that's her
YouTube name her real name is April
but she's my mom and she's the kids as
grandma's so she sent some amazing gifts
for the kids and for the family and
thank you mom so much I've been talking
to her all day work you've been keeping
updated on where the packages are and
stuff so but this is just one of the
things that she got em so I don't know
Jeremiah's really into sensory things
like touching
he likes the feeling of certain things
and so it's a snake
and they're like that gooey but he likes
the feeling he can sit and and roll he
has sensory um he has a touch disorder
so sensory things are really cool to him
he likes sensory things and so when I
asked him what do you want and I let him
take my iPad and because my mom was like
what do I need to get the kids and I'm
like I don't know Mom so I said well
what I'll do is I'll give Jeremiah the
iPad and he can go add some things you
know to the cart so that you can see
what he wants and so was something he
added there and I'm like okay so that is
from my mom to Maya thank you mom
I guess I should read the little note
she said hi Jeremiah have an awesome
birthday enjoy your gift from Grandma
April so thank you mommy I'm talking a
little bit quiet because he's home I
want to be here like I said there's
interviews boxes mixed in with my
purchases too so I'm trying to
I mean I'm gonna show you guys
everything but make sure I hope you guys
are all having a wonderful day it's
Friday it's be a nice weekend oh I know
what this is so these are for an order
that I just got in so these are the 20
ounce tumblers so yeah that's for an
order that I'm gonna be working on this
weekend
yeah tomorrow are you Sunday Ollie and
Jeremiah are gonna go to the movies
together for a little gift from me and
the two babies is to let them go and see
a movie together because clearly the
babies are not old enough paddle to go
to the movie theaters so I told them you
know what I'm gonna stay home you guys
can go and go and enjoy yourself and
have fun so to the whole Ramadan family
and joy I love you all enjoy your gift
from Mama April so from Grandma thank
you mom
so this is a shrink Dinks insects so it
comes with colour baked and shrink well
that's cool
comes with like a bunch of the kids will
like that they can color them so this is
for all the kids to do that is so cool
comes with like keychains and pipe
cleaners and watch video instructions
uncom shrinks to a third of its original
size how fun how cute so that is one of
the gifts thank you mama
I don't want to show you guys this one
so this is for the children and for the
family but I'm not gonna eat them but
yes my babies will have some every now
and then because their grandmother sent
them there are so many fun things I can
say about that but well-behaved I was
like should I put that one on there yeah
I will oh gosh you got to love everybody
this world would not be the same if we
were all the same people right
gotta have some fun people in our circle
somewhere fortunately I don't know how I
seem to bring out the best of them okay
so this one's also anything from my mom
yes I only hope that your birthday is a
is as special as you are enjoy your gift
from Mama April oh let's see no is there
oh hi Esther I hope that you have fun
time beautiful girl enjoy your gift from
Grandma
April hi Jeremiah have a very very happy
birthday enjoy your gift from Grandma
April hi Omar grandma April hopes that
you have fun with all of this I love you
enjoy your gifts
okay these are for the kids so there's
stickers and then they have the faces
then you can put like the nose and the
teeth and put a hat eyes oh my god that
is so cute and they have there's
multiple different ones there's these
are so cool so there's the draft
so there's oh there's three giraffe
three monkeys you're gonna love these we
go three elephants and three Tigers
Tigers planes whatever there thank you
mom the kids are gonna love it and how
fun is that that there's three of each
so they'll each get their own little
sticker pack Oh fun fun fun I'm so
excited for them awesome
all right oh I think I know what this is
this pink tape
yeah look at this this is for ollie he
was just asking for one actually the
other day and know what it is and you
know men are men but uh it's uh if you
could see that but it's like a
screwdriver type thing and then it has
all the bits on it
so there's multiple different bits I
don't want to push it out because I
don't know if that's gonna knock
everything out but it's like a multiple
bit holder and then so here we'll always
have us for driver so oh my god that is
so nice it's like heavy too heavy duty
thank you mama he's gonna love it and
I'll have him open his on camera this is
Sarah she loves Birds I record and
repeat every word oh my god that is so
pretty thank you mama
oh my god this is so awesome you are
such an amazing mother can I just keep
telling you how awesome you are
I don't want to cut through anything so
I'm trying to be as careful precise when
I'm cutting this oh my god it comes with
the case and everything so it's a full
set comes with a little of everything on
it that's awesome if you guys can't see
everything but it's like a little tool
settings got tons of little odds and
ends and little pokey things and I don't
even know what have you there's lots of
stuff in there cuz cuz kya sight
precision tools
so it's for guitars stuff but it's gonna
be used for something totally different
so thank you mama and mama you know what
it's for so I'm so sorry that was an
auto-fire I promise hmm this last one is
for Jeremiah Jeremiah
[Applause]
so again because he's sensory he loves
sensory stuff they're bouncy balls and
they've got like little pokey things on
him and he likes this type of stuff cuz
he can sit and film it so he could
there's three of them in there
so I'm sure he'll share with the kids
I'm sure because that's just how he is
but it's a bouncy ball good grips pikeys
spikey I love them they're cute
me Mom
[Music]
hi sweet Amy mama loves you so much
happy enjoy your gift
happy happy your gift enjoy your gift
for Mama April mom thank you so much
you're so awesome
I should have been busted anyways oh my
gosh this is so cool so the silver and
is from this is a nightie it's dreams Co
so it's pants you know if you guys can
see that they're just like a stretchy
pant and then it says this shirt is
long-sleeved and it just says come on
says good night good night I'm going to
sleep but oh my god that is so pretty
and it just goes perfect with the pants
thank you mama
[Music]
okay I have another package here not
sure I really don't know what this one
is
doesn't say who it's from see oh I see a
car little eNOS has a me on it with cute
little stickers oh I love those stickers
okay this be from I really wasn't
expecting anything so I don't know I
love like exciting secret mouths just
popping by with a happy howdy-do Oh from
Susie by the sea oh my gosh girlfriend
where did you get your cards made from I
like that to let you know that friendly
thoughts are being sent to you thank you
for being a friend love you little
sister Susie oh we have a thing I'm
little sis and she's big sis thank you
big sis I love you so much
oh she's so sweet
we are always snapping each other and
keeping each other company
what's going on here all right
oh how cute oh oh oh how cute
oh my gosh how stinking adorable you are
too much sis I love it stop his you were
awesome let's see I just wanna make sure
that I everything so I love the Pez we
got another little booty-booty
it's a keychain oh my god I'm going to
put that on my keychain oh and this one
they have the hole in it so maybe I do
need to do Mikey chance with the hole in
it oh I love it I love love love the
doughnuts so yeah oh my gosh I'm so
funny and what do we got in here
what
oh I see a Cub somebody and North
Carolina loves me oh my god I love it
oh my goodness
oh thank you so much sis this is awesome
I need to look somebody and North
Carolina loves me oh my god I love it
that is awesome Wow Wow I love it thank
you so so much so I got the cup the
keychain and a Minnie Mouse Pez and she
is going to be set up and put away
because my kids are not gonna use it no
way I love it thank you and thank you
mama
oh it's so so so so much I just could
not be more grateful you guys for
everything I have been so blessed and
you guys are awesome and I just think
you think you think you so I can't say
thank you enough and I will be
definitely checking in again soon I'm
gonna get going because we got to go
into Costco girls go and go get the
birthday cake for my birthday boys but I
again hope you guys are having a blessed
wonderful day and a rest of your weekend
have blessed time with family and
friends and with yourself
always take self-care time because it's
very very very very important love you
guys and I'll talk to you soon bye
